Relaxation Training and Stress Management

For most of us, stress has become part of our daily lives. We are constantly rushing - trying to juggle work, relationships, children, friends, family and home. We often run from one activity to the next, leaving very little time for our self-care.

When we are in a constant state of stress, we activate the sympathetic nervous system, which kicks us into "fight, flight or freeze" mode. When this happens our adrenaline rushes, our heart beats faster, our breathing becomes shallow and rapid and our digestion shuts down. The goal of stress management and relaxation training is to turn off the sympathetic nervous system and turn on the parasympathetic nervous system. When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, the heart slows, breathing becomes deeper and slower, and digestion increases.

Dr. Bailey works with clients to find more peace, balance and harmony in their lives. A big part of achieving this state of being is learning to manage our stress, take care of ourselves and learn to relax.

Techniques Dr. Bailey uses to help clients find more peace in their lives include:  time management; breathing and meditation; and self-care. She will also conduct relaxation techniques in session and help you learn how to do them on your own.

To help you on your path to achieving more peace and harmony in your life, to follow is a Symptoms of Stress Checklist, Self-Care Techniques, and Overcoming Panic and Anxiety Attacks. You may also want to purchase Dr. Bailey's Relaxation with the Angel of Peace Guided Imagery.

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Symptoms of Stress Checklist

Definition of Stress: The perception that the demands are greater than the resources one has to meet those demands. The more of the following items you check, the more stressed you are.

_____ Anxiety

_____ Depression

_____ Lack of motivation

_____ Difficulty paying attention

_____ Irritability

_____ Headaches

_____ Nightmares

_____ Stomach Aches

_____ Under or over sleeping

_____ Tight muscles

_____ Hives

_____ Diarrhea/Constipation

_____ Heart pounding/racing

_____ Fatigue

_____ Restlessness

_____ Over or under eating

_____ Loss of memory

_____ Denial or avoidance of issues or situations

_____ Smoking

_____ Substance Abuse

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Self-Care Techniques

1. Take some deep breaths.
2. Take a walk or do some other form of exercise. Ideally 30 minutes a day. This could include a 10 minute walk during your lunch break.
3. Stretch.
4. Do "shoulder and neck rolls." Be careful to do these gently. You can also do these while sitting at your desk.
5. Maintain your sense of humor and ability to laugh.
6. Take a nap or sleep (even closing your eyes for 15 minutes on your lunch break).
7. Get enough sleep/rest in general.
8. Don't take yourself, your skills or your flaws too seriously.
9. Be realistic about perfection. Know that there is a difference between always doing your best (which can vary day by day) and perfection. Striving for perfection can set you up for failure, while striving to always do your best sets you up for success.
10. Look for the positive side of things or a situation. Expect the best, not the worst.
11. Set priorities and establish realistic short term and long term goals.
12. Wear your favorite clothes or colors.
13. Contact a friend. Talk, vent and express your feelings.
14. Spend time with friends and loved ones.
15. Spend time with a pet or animals.
16. Spend time outside. Take deep breaths.
17. Learn to say "no."
18. Put your current situation/problem in perspective.
19. Give yourself permission to take breaks and relax.
20. Accept those situations that are out of your control; know your limitations.
21. Ask for help.
22. Take a vacation.
23. Balance work, play, emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual needs.
24. Limit alcohol and other drug use.
25. Schedule time for yourself to do something you find enjoyable and/or relaxing.
26. Read a "mindless" novel.
27. Listen to music.
28. Go see a movie, play or concert.
29. Make use of leisurely baths, hot tubs, hot showers, whirlpools and saunas.
30. Get a massage.
31. Get a facial, manicure or pedicure.
32. Get your hair done.
33. Dance.
34. Decrease distractions.
35. Do one task at a time.
36. Cultivate supportive relationships.
37. Perform relaxation exercises (deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery).
38. Meditate or set aside some quiet time to do nothing.
39. Do your best to be fully present in the moment (try not to spend too much time in the past or the future as this causes worry and anxiety).
40. If possible, postpone thinking about problems or making major decisions when you are overwhelmed. Give yourself a half-hour, half-day or overnight break (or longer) until you are able to think more clearly.
41. Don't wait until the last minute to complete a task.
42. Ask for help (from a spouse, friend, family member, neighbor, etc.).
43. Eat more meals and less food. Decrease your fats (red meats, friend foods, etc.) and increase fruits and vegetables.
44. Write your feelings in a journal or notebook.
45. Do something you've always wanted to do.
46. Start a hobby.
47. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Avoid being too hard on yourself.
48. Accept those situations that are out of your control; know your limitations.
49. Reduce the number of "extra curricular" activities you, your spouse or your children are involved in.
50. Be proactive with your stress management and take time to relax (do some of the activities on this sheet) before you feel overwhelmed.

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Overcoming Panic and Anxiety Attacks: 8 Step Process

1. Expect, allow and accept that fear will arise. People suffer from different conditions (high blood pressure, migraine headaches, etc.), you suffer from anxiety/panic attacks. Just accept that that is OK and you can get through it.
2. When fear comes, stop, wait and let it be. You can take preventative measures to reduce your anxiety and fear (deep breathing, exercising, cognitive reframing, etc.), but once fear hits, just ride the wave, don't try to control it, just let it go. This extreme feeling usually lasts about 10 seconds. You will live through it, and there is a feeling of calm and relief on the other side. Do NOT avoid the fear stimulus or leave the area/event that triggered the anxiety/panic. Leaving the situation only serves to reinforce the fear and anxiety. Stay and ride the wave.
3. Focus on the present (Involve all 5 of your senses). Feel the chair in which you're sitting, feel the fabric of your clothes, notice colors, smell your perfume, notice any sounds, count backward from 100 by 6, squeeze a ball. Be here now.
4. Label your level of fear from 0 to 10 (0 = calm, 10 = Totally Overwhelmed with Anxiety). If your anxiety is anything but zero, bring yourself back to the present. Use all 5 of your senses. This labeling system also helps you to track your improvement over time.
5. Ask Yourself, "What am I afraid of?" (Is there any evidence that what you most fear is actually happening?)
6. Ask Yourself, "What is actually happening?" Compare what is actually happening to your fear of what might happen.
7. Function with fear. Be proud of your achievements. Be proud of all the little steps you take. Fear can be part of your life without controlling you.
8. Expect, allow and accept that fear will reappear. Expect that you will feel anxious and it is OK. You will get through it.

Remember: if fear comes: Stop, wait and let it be. Ride the wave, it is calm on the other side.

The fear of fear is always so much worse than the actual event.

You need to constantly monitor your stress level. Use 1) deep breathing BEFORE you get highly anxious; 2) use all 5 of your senses to ground you in the present; and 3) use cognitive reality checks to see that you will be alright.

Adapted from: Triumph Over Fear by Jerilyn Ross

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